How to not hate people and not hold hatred or contentiousness in your heart:
Decide what your values are for your life. For example: love, joy, happiness, peace, excitement, etc. Once you know your values - you can determine what it looks like for you to stay in alignment with your values and to live from a place of authenticity.
Be okay if you do experience thoughts and feelings of hatred. It is okay and it is part of life. You are a human. You can control what you do with those thoughts and feelings.
Recognize and even honor the hatred. We as humans can be so hard on ourselves in so many ways. What if you could just recognize the hatred and frustration and sit with it. What if this was the best way to begin letting it go?
Be kind to yourself first. Be gracious. As you go through this process - you will experience all types of mental and emotional roller coasters. Just go with it.
Forgive yourself for the hatred and feelings of frustration towards others. Let go.
Ask yourself the question “What do I truly want ‘FOR’ this person...what do I want for them and their life, their family, their impact.” Answer honestly. Do you want them to be happy and fulfilled? Do you want them to experience joy? Do you want them to have great relationships? What do you want for them?
Separate the person from your story about the person. Notice that you have thoughts and stories and judgments about the person. Take ownership for those being your thoughts. Be willing for your stories to be at least 1% wrong about the person. Be willing to let go of being fully right about what you think about others.
Learn how to let go and surrender. Hold things with an open hand.
Be patient. No rush. Progress over perfection.
Repeat any of the steps above as needed.