There was a time in my 30’s when I became aware that for most of my life, I was a bit ashamed of myself.
As I looked backwards on my life, I realized that as a kid, I didn’t really know how to stand up for myself. I didn’t have much of a backbone nor much self-confidence. And honestly I’d say I was a bit of a wimp or a pushover. I largely felt powerless.
Of course this wasn’t ALL of me.
Looking back, I was incredibly loving and caring. I had a tender spirit that cared deeply for others.
As you can imagine, being a kid and not knowing how to harness this tenderness of spirit, I got hurt a lot. And most times didn’t know what to do with it.
All of this was a big revelation to me.
And I think this was what ended up creating a lot of the anger I have experienced in my lifetime. As far back as I can remember, I’ve had a bit of a temper and up until my late twenties, I didn’t know what to do with it.
But now that I can see a bit of what was creating the anger. That being that the way I consciously or subconsciously thought about myself in the past, present, and future. (Not the things that happened to me - which is a key distinction for me - because if it is because of the things that happened, then I necessarily give my power to the things that happened. If I take ownership for how I think about myself in the past, present, and future, then I retain my power).
And since in this approach, I own my power - I thus I recognize my ability to change the way I see things.
Meaning, I can be proud of myself in the past, present, and future. Consciously and subconsciously.
And this has caused my anger to decrease by 70% over the past few years.
And I’m really proud of that.