Focusing

Focus. Something with which I have been intrigued for quite some time.

My apple dictionary tells me that focus is defined as “the center of interest or activity” or “the state or quality of having or producing clear visual definition.”

And I have been thinking about focus particularly as it pertains to being in a conversation with someone else. And even more specifically, what causes some conversations to go well and others to go not so well.

I notice that when I am focused on the other person in a conversation, and truly understanding them, when they are “the center of interest or activity” and I have a “clear visual definition” of connecting with them, conversations are infinitely more resourceful than if I am just worried about getting my point across.

When I am focused on listening to the other person, I am able to orient the world around me in such a way that I am honed in on what I am committed to cause with that person. I am committed to doing whatever it takes so they know I am fully engaged.

When they get that I am fully engaged, the conversation is vastly different than if I am distracted in some or multiple ways.

They feel valued, encouraged, challenged, loved, served, cared about, inspired, etc.

Sure beats “not worth your time”, “obviously your iphone is more important”, “glad you are concerned about the game on the tv behind me,” etc.

Focus. Listen. Love.