My complaints are interpretations of facts, not facts themselves.
When I complain, I often feel justified in my complaining because I think my complaint itself is the facts (not simply an interpretation).
But if I am only going after feeling justified, where does that get me? Typically this just gets me the result I already have rather than something new.
Newness comes from accepting my complaint as my experience of reality and then creating a new way of interpreting the facts.
My opinion about someone or something is just that – my opinion or my thoughts.
I then express those thoughts that I have about someone or something through language that I tell myself and others.
The main thing I must remember is that this is all MY experience of the world.
And just like I have an experience of the world – so does EVERYONE else. And their experience is valid as well.
If I think that my experience of the world is FACT, then I will find myself stuck because I will think that anyone who sees the world differently as being irrational or disconnected from “reality.” And this will not be helpful because people can tell when I think their viewpoint of the world is inferior.
Therefore, to best move forward, we can come to the table and listen to many experiences of the world and know that we have just one piece of the very large puzzle. It helps us stay both grounded and curious. Grounded because we realize we don’t know everything and curious because there is a world of knowledge out there. And there are amazing people we can learn from.
May we focus on being students rather than teachers.
“Serving is intended to benefit the person being served. Pleasing is intended to benefit the person doing the pleasing.” Steve Chandler
Shame comes in a number of different formats.
Sometimes it can be shame about something you regret doing in the past.
Shame can be about being ashamed of something that happened to you.
Shame can be the belief “I am not who I should be yet.”
Or a number of different options.
What we are worshipping is the story or belief that we have inside of us.
We are believing the story that by being ashamed – that will somehow propel us forward.
Meanwhile, it has the exact opposite effect.
It is a way we hold ourselves back.
It is a way we take from the world rather than give to the world.
It is a way we are selfish rather than selfless.
It is a way of being greedy rather than generous.
Let’s expose shame for what it is and shift to freedom.
You are not your story. You are wonderful. That is what you are. Remember that.
Realize that being judgmental divides us.
Being judgmental is a way we hide from what lies deep inside of us.
When we get connected to ourselves, our heart, and our soul – and get clear regarding what we are up to in life (which takes some work) – we no longer have a need to judge others.
Being judgmental reveals that we are disconnected from ourselves and we know this. And so we judge ourselves and others. And we are consciously and subconsciously frustrated by all of this. And then we judge some more.
Being judgmental disconnects us from self and others.
To be less judgmental – get connected to yourself. Really connected.
If you don’t think you know how – find yourself a great coach. I know a few.